Ok, so this post is about 2 months past due but the subject is certainly worth celebrating.

My teeth used to be HORRRRRRRRIBLE, omg you just don’t know. So when I was about 20 and had means to afford braces I thought “I should get braces”. When I was 22 I thought “If I would have gotten braces 2 years ago I would be done with them by now”. At 24 I thought “I could have had them twice by now”. Finally I got around to getting them and was in them for about 2 years. They came off, and while there had been MAJOR improvements I was still not completely happy.

I decided to go to another orthodontist (I had since moved to another city on the other side of Atlanta) and was transformed into Metal-Mouth once again (I like to think of Metal-Mouth as an action hero. I would typically attend my ortho checkups donning primary colored spandex with coordinating boots and a floor length cape. But, that is my normal Wednesday outfit so I guess that is irrelevant to the story.)

Anyway, a couple months ago I was finally transformed back into my civilian identity and therefore lost the ability to season my food with the metallic flavor I had come to love (Which is Metal-Man’s primary power).

Well, Metal-Man is gone, but my teeth are straight, and that’s gotta count for something! Now I have to perpetually wash, wear, and protect these tiny plastic retainers they hand you right when you think you are done.

Craig Haynie

"Craig Haynie. A young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law." (Huh? Click Here)


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