We have these digital signs over the interstate in different places that “they” can put different messages on (it bothers me that I don’t know who “they” is). Sometimes the sign says something like “Little Billy got kidnapped, be on the lookout for an 87 white van with no windows and an “I love puppies” bumper sticker””, but when Chester is on vacation they usually announce new laws that might affect your driving habits.
Recently they announced the new “Super Speeder” law which tacks another $200 onto your speeding fine if you are traveling over 85 MPH on a 4 lane or 75 MPH on a 2 lane road. Today I was on my way to Macon and “they” had a message on the sign that said “New law prohibits texting while driving” or something like that. In case you haven’t already figured it out I am fairly defiant to “laws” (if that’s what they REALLY are) that limit my ability to do things that may be dangerous or stupid (speeding, texting while speeding, minor engine maintenance or watching feature length films while driving, etc). So, I read the sign and thought “HA! Texting sounds like a mighty fine idea!”, so I pulled out my phone but since I didn’t have anything to text anyone about I read a few emails instead.
Well, while I was distracted by the David Hasselhoff fan club newsletter I finally heard it. My radar detector – going off like a 5 alarm fire notification. Unfortunately it’s sound was masked by the overly loud music that was playing. I got pulled over for doing 83 in a 55 (DOH!). I somehow persuaded the cop to reduce it to 74 which helps a little on the cost and points on your license, but it’s still a ticket to pay and points that I don’t need. Fortunately, even at 83 MPH, I didn’t quite hit the Super Speeder status (although I think “Super Speeder” may actually be an accurate title for me).
So the moral of the story is, ….. turn the volume up on your radar detector if you are listening to music while reading emails, texting, or generally breaking the law while driving. It’s just smart, and smart is the new cool.